LeeZy... Out Loud

Uh... can I take it all back?

2008-02-13T20:04:00.003-08:00

Let me first say I do not like Roger Clemens as a baseball player. He's arrogant. He's an egomaniac. He's all about creating that legendary persona so that people can worship later and be in awe of him when he has to eventually retire from baseball. When the Yankees played against the Marlins in the World Series, he made such a spectacle of it being his last year pitching, he had a long drawn out farewell tour that entire season, he took about 5-10 minutes to salute the crowd and the players for what was seemed to be his last game, only to come back the following year and the year after that and the year after that. He really likes people who love to kiss his ass.

So this is why I found the 2nd Baseball Congressional hearings to be so fascinating as well as so despicable. Fascinating, because you have this guy trying to salvage an extraordinary career dangling on a thread... who many thought (myself included) to be playing on borrowed time and playing too well for someone that old. Despicable, because it involves steroids again, and didn't we already do this in Congress many years ago with this guy below (among others)?

So it's amazing how it all went down today. In an election year, when we are about to pick another president, this hearing, at times, became divided along political party lines. What I find more interesting was the line of questioning (granted from both parties).

"You seem to be the same size in all those photos"

Thank you for your service to the New York Yankees.

What uniform will you be wearing upon induction to the Hall of Fame?

"All I can say Mr. Clemens, is I'm sure you're going to heaven"

And now you see why people think the government is wasting it's time and the people's money on something that would not seem as important as health care, the economy, or the war in Iraq. The members of Congress didn't seem to take it seriously. They were all kissing Clemens' allegedly injected ass.

On the drive home from work today, I was listening to sports radio which I do on occasion. They were talking about the hearings today and how Clemens might be brought up on perjury charges. And why not? Every player in Senator Mitchell's report on steroids in baseball, who was named for taking steroids or performance enhancing drugs, came forward and admitted to taking drugs... except for Roger Clemens. Players who were friends with Clemens named him in sworn affidavits. It just seems someone is in utter denial.

I don't need to rehash any more about what was covered today. You can read it yourself to the extent that you desire. But this is my soapbox, and all I have to say is this.

Roger Clemens might be a great human being, a great father, a great husband, and a great friend to some. But he was the biggest asshole in his sport, a guy who would lose his temper, and a guy who thought he was better than anybody. Like Barry Bonds, I hope he can sleep at night in all that denial, because after all this is over, it's all he'll have left.

The legacy he achieved and desired is no more. It is merely a figment of his own imagination.

LeeZy

Unstoppable

2008-02-03T22:29:00.000-08:00

Hey, did you watch the Super Bowl?

Pretty amazing wasn't it? I have to give it to Eli Manning... I did not expect him to pull that win out... I was expecting a coronation of the New England Patriots and not expecting much of a game.

I was wrong on both accounts.

So congrats to him and the New York Giants for denting the mystique of the Patriots. 18-1 record and didn't even win the Super Bowl... I like the sound of that.

But the other reason to watch the Super Bowl are the commercials. So today, I have some gems that I really liked with links and some that I really didn't like at all. Apparently, the Super Bowl commercials are like pizza toppings. Not everyone likes the same thing. Just keep that in mind.

A link to most of them... but read on for my take on some.

Really Bad Commercials - Racism never sells

Sales Genie 2008 SB Commercial 1 Ramesh
Sales Genie 2008 SB Commercial 2 Ling Ling

Honestly, where do I start with what's wrong with these commercials.

The guy with the heavy Indian accent and he has seven kids. Really classy.

The pandas speaking in broken english, named Ling Ling and Ting Ting, calling their fortune teller for financial advice and direction... did I mention the broken english... This ad really annoyed the piss out of me.

Super Bowl Commercials are supposed to be memorable for the price that they cost. How does Sales Genie do enough business to have a budget for these commericals?

Go Daddy - Danica Patrick exposure

I feel so dirty for thinking Danica Patrick was somewhat sexy.

Bad Commercials - I expected more for something that cost so much

Pepsi Nodding Off Commercial

I'm pretty sure that after a few months of seeing this commercial, everyone will get really suck of it. Now realize that it's a one minute commercial, as opposed to the 30 second variety. I also understand the idea which is based on the SNL skit and the Night at the Roxbury movie, but not everyone will get it and find it just strange.

Under Armour - The New Prototype

This simply does not make sense to me... and it's also a minute long... money to burn... money to burn

Sobe Life Water - Thrillicious

The point of advertising is to sell something... or at least make me remember what they were selling. While trying to recall this commercial (15 minutes after seeing it), I was thinking it might have been for Geico.

Planter's Nuts - Perfume

I have a feeling, after multiple viewings, I'll hate this commercial as much as those Jared galleria of jewelry commercials. Thought I give credit to them. Unibrows are funny.

Ice Breakers - Carmen Electra

Maybe I would like this commercial more had I found Carmen Electra slightly more attractive than the woman in the previous spot for Planter's Nuts.

Bud Light - Language of Love

Carlos Mencia is not worth the jokes he actually writes himself.

Good Commercials - Those that made me smile

Bud Light - Fire breather

I liked how the mood of the spot was light and romantic and very cool with the lighting of the candles. And I have a cat allergy so I could relate it.

Bud Light - Wine and Cheese

Having been introduced to wine recently, this commercial was right up my alley. And I couldn't have found a better use for a box of Chablis.

Budweiser - Rocky

This commercial won me over when the music started... you really can't lose with animals...

Toyota - Sleeping Badgers

Like I said, these commercials made me smile.

T-Mobile - Wade makes the Five

Though this spot went on for a while and I got a little bored, it's exactly what I thought would happen when you get what you want. And Charles Barkley is phenomenal talent. Can I get in your five?

ETrade Baby
ETrade Baby and Clown

These spots work, because the baby does not look creepy. And it's pretty memorable. There seems to be a lot of cute this year...

Commercials from one company that were the best - Coca Cola

Coca Cola - Jinx
Coca Cola - It's Mine

Coca Cola was by far, the most effective advertising campaign this year. From Mean Joe Greene to the buy the world a Coke, the Coca Cola company knows how to make a commercial memorable. With James Carville and Bill Frist hanging out all day and discussing things like two human beings, resonates in an era, an election year era when we must all come together.

The balloon fight between Stewie and Underdog and eventually Charlie Brown, brought together three cartoon icons from different decades. Once again, very memorable image, and very lasting commercial. My only question is how the hell did they get the rights?

The three commercials I liked the best

3) Careerbuilder - Queen of Hearts

Yeah I must admit, I thought her boob popped out, or her implant popped out, or something... did not think it was her heart. Once I get past that, the commercial was brilliant and the message resonated with anyone who thought their boss was a prick. There was no mistaking the message and it was memorable. All pluses for me.

2) Wall-E - Movie Trailer

So if you're Disney/Pixar, how would you make a commercial that would capitalize off all your prior success and make a commercial, a Super Bowl commercial that would get people excited about your movie. With Woody and Buzz Lightyear, you have complete genius. And Wall-E is awesome, even though he does remind me of Johnny 5.

1) Fed-Ex - Carrier Pigeons

What's not to love? Pigeons with GPS and night vision. Large pigeons that can carry large crates but inevitably drop them (as I thought they would). Large pigeons acting like regular pigeons and looking for food in semi trucks. Large pigeons grabbing cars and depositing them anywhere. All that was missing was how the large pigeons poop. And I'm very glad they didn't go there. All in all... a very memorable spot and I am going to laugh when they replay it for the 50th time.

LeeZy

A new year... which is more of the same...

2008-01-03T14:05:00.001-08:00

Hello.

Just wanted to remind you that my favorite links are located on the right side in case you wanted something to look at and wanted to be amused by "the funny" of the internet...

ok... that's enough for a post... check back in a few months.... bye!

...

...

...

ok, I'm kidding. So what's up? Lots has happened since I last wrote an entry in this blog. Don't think I haven't noticed.... or had comments.

1) The Writers Guild of America Strike

This is probably the one thing that has me pretty mad. Around late November / early December, all my TV shows ran out of new original episodes since the writers went on strike. I absolutely support them and you should too. But it really really sucks that in the meantime, I have nothing else to do, except play Scrabulous around on facebook.

The writers are pretty much people like you and me, they might make more than us... but they do provide creative writing skills that turn into TV scripts and good TV and give us that escape that we all need when we come home from a hard day at work. And what are they fighting for? A share of the revenue that is created from the shows streamed on the internet amongst other things on the web. I really don't see the problem. Watch some youtube videos... will ya?

Seth McFarlane speech for the WGA

The Office is Closed

and finally...

Why we fight

It's bullshit... the corporate pigs... seriously... I'm not joking. So be strong WGA! But in the meantime... I get to look forward to shit like this.

and whatever this horseshit is...

Oh joy...

But at least... I found out about some shows that I really like thanks to the strike.

Chuck - The guy reminds me of Jimmy Fallon, but far less annoying... and a good show should have someone pretty and smart on it... check and check... (talking about Yvonne Strahovski)

30 Rock - I thought this show was only good because it was force fed on us by NBC... boy was I wrong... the most creative writing, sight gags, and humor that I've seen.

And now sadly, I've watched all the episodes available to me in the above links, and now I have to go back to Scrabulous... until Lost comes back later this month... for just 8 episodes...

2) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Remember when I said that the morning radio show I listened to while becoming awake, played some spoiler ringtones that pretty much spoiled the ending of Harry Potter? Well I finally read the book and it still did, sort of... but at least one thing I remembered wasn't true... but pretty much else I kind of remembered. If you want to hear those stupid ringtones, I finally found them... but don't say I didn't warn you if you didn't read the book yet.

Woody Show - Harry Potter Spoiler Ring #1

Woody Show - Harry Potter Spoiler Ring #2

All in all, I won't say much here about the book. But apparently my prediction of Harry and Ron finding true love wasn't true. But apparently someone else might be gay... still you probably shouldn't read that link if you haven't read the book either. But I have no complaints... at least none that I can talk about.

3) Good Movies

By the way... the above picture of Roger Ebert was found on this gem of a website... it reminds me of this.

Lastly, since I have no new TV to watch and finished the book I was dieing to read, I really have nothing else to do except to watch a good movie or three.

Here are some good ones you might find interesting...

Death at a Funeral - An English film, and the movie poster above says it all... very funny film... I know at a funeral... who knew?

Shoot 'Em Up - Do you like violence? Do you like guns blazing? Do you like sex? Do you like Monica Bellucci? How about Paul Giamatti? I know you live Clive Owen... why are you there still reading... go see this movie!!!!

Futurama - Bender's Big Score - If you liked the original TV show that was canceled... Well it's back; in a full length made for DVD movie and as a TV show again later this year. A must for all fans of Matt Groening.

Well I think that's all I got for this blog entry... hopefully it won't be nearly as long for me to churn out the next one. Happy New Year and take care of yourself.

LeeZy

Very Good TV

2007-10-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

Now on to the good stuff...

Shows I love

How I Met Your Mother, CBS - Monday 8 PM - I've talked about this show once and I have no problem talking about it again. This show reminds me of Friends, before it got stale and before all the men on the show became completely emasculated. Basically you have this guy named Ted and how he met his future wife, as told in the future by Ted to his 2 kids. It's a great premise, and leaves you wondering who this future wife is... this season they gave a hint and I can't wait to see what else will happen. The cast of this show is also great and the comedy and the one liners are hilarious. The people on this show actually feel like buddies you might have at a bar or hang out with once or more a week. Always a good sign when looking for a likable show.

Lost, ABC - This show is not on right now, but that doesn't mean I can't write about how much I like it. I actually prefer this faux reality show over the reality show that it's based on (Survivor). The mystery and the clues to this mystery seem to be reason enough for me to watch, but now I'm going to be afraid to go on a plane in that part of the world. A friend of mine can't stand how the guys always have a constant 5 o'clock shadow instead of a stringy ugly beard, but I don't notice that. I notice the magical numbers, the polar bear, the voices, and healing powers of the island. I also like how everyone looks so clean and pretty and that might annoy some people, but I just like it and I really want to know what happens to this group of stranded survivors in the South Pacific.

Family Guy, FOX, Sunday 9 PM - A couple weeks ago, Family Guy had it's season premiere and they made an hour long episode in homage to Star Wars Episode 4. This is why I watch this show. I love pop culture. I'm in tune to what is going on in entertainment and this show rewards you with non-sequitor pop culture references throughout the episodes. Things from the Kool-Aid man to Grey Poupon to a remade music video remake of "Take On Me" by A-Ha done in the sketch art. Funny, doesn't begin to describe how good this show is. But it's not everyone's cup of tea. However, this show was brought back from the dead by all of its adoring fans, which says a hell of a lot.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, FX, Thursday 10 PM - Imagine if you were watching Seinfeld, except the Elaine character in the group would try and seduce and convince a priest to leave the church who she also knew had a crush on her, the Jerry character has a gigantic ego and thought he could manipulate anyone to do what he wanted while waxing poetic about wanting to be a veterinarian, the George character wanted to be sexually molested by his grade school PE teacher so he could feel better about himself, and the Kramer character couldn't read or write, is completely dishonest, and faked having cancer so he could sleep with a waitress. Then you would have "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". This show is horrible yet I keep watching because I can't believe they get away with showing this on TV. I feel like such a bad person.

Scrubs, NBC, Thursday 9:30 PM - This is entering its last season, and it's one of my favorites. Unlike the other medical shows out there, this show doesn't take itself way too seriously. It's a comedy and has its fair share of non-sequitor moments like Family Guy. But this show also has a lot of heart. They also deal with real issues that you and I might deal with (off and on relationships, dating in the workplace, marriage, having children, dealing with a horrible boss, dealing with death, and one's career)... not what you would expect from a comedy show that takes place in a hospital, huh? The main character is currently riding my last nerve, but I still find this show good for a laugh.

Anthony Bourdain No Reservations, Travel Channel, Monday 10 PM - This was my new favorite show this summer. Especially since I haven't been traveling anywhere, this show serves as an excellent escape to far away places that I hope to visit someday. The show stars the ever sarcastic, hating on Food Network chef, Anthony Bourdain, author of a book called Kitchen Confidential which I really need to read one of these days. He has a great approach towards travel and experiencing other cultures. If you are given something to eat that someone made for you, you eat it graciously and ask for seconds. If you don't like what you were served, you eat it graciously and ask for seconds. To say something like that is easy. To actually follow through with it... is something else entirely. This guy did manage to eat wart-hog anus prepared by natives in Namibia but in a rare display of defiance, refused to eat a mayonnaise cake in South Carolina. He's my hero, and going on a tangent... I found a video of him explaining cricket. He's so cool.

Pushing Daisies, ABC, Wednesday 8 PM - This show premieres tonight and I must say, you have to watch it. If anything for the cinematography, the artistic direction, the lush colors, and the feel of utter fantasy as you watch it. It's reminds me of Wonderfalls which coincidently, one of the creators of Wonderfalls helped create Pushing Daisies as well. Pushing Daisies is the story of a man who can bring anything to life with the touch of his finger. I can't say any more because it would ruin it for you... but if you crave sexual tension between characters on a TV show... you've seen nothing yet. Please watch the preview and watch the show... it's pure magic... in an Amelie kind of way.

The Office (US Version), NBC, Thursday 9 PM - Last but most certainly not least, is my favorite TV show. Now some people think this show sucks because it was a British import chopped to bits and regurgitated into the US version, but I find no problem with it at all. In fact I enjoy this version more than the British version. Sometimes Americans do things a little differently than the British and that's a good thing. So sometimes I need my jokes spelled out a little more obviously, and the drama to be a little more over the top. If it wasn't like that, then I really wouldn't find it so hilariously funny at times. Working in an office is something many people do and I'm surprised no one thought of this premise as an idea for a TV show. One memorable moment included role playing various ethnicities in the workplace for some HR training thing, and the African American guy was randomly chosen to be Black. Oh and they didn't know what they were... these ethnicities were written on pieces of paper and taped to their forehead. Comedy gold I tell you...

I especially love the interaction of the two characters above, Jim and Pam. Until this season, their admiration and flirting with each other was somewhat subtle and only obvious to the camera/audience. This year began a whole new stage of their relationship in the open that I'm afraid will wipe away the magic of before. I often wonder what happens when you get something you want.... like what eventually happens. I guess we will all find out soon enough.

LeeZy

P.S. The baseball bet ended somewhat dramatically in an 11-11 tie. My guy won his last 2 games. He doesn't suck that much after all... so yes... no softball game for now.

P.P.S I just found out today, another show I loved from 1999 is being brought back... watch the original pilot (starting from part 2/5) on youtube. What can I say, this show struck a cord with me.

Bad TV

2007-09-28T08:24:00.001-07:00

So begins another TV season and a bunch new and old shows are out to get hooked on.... again

I get enough crap about how much TV I watch, so I've decided to only watch one new show this year... more on that next time...

(speaking on the guy who gives me crap on that, the baseball bet has gotten a little closer and this could end in a tie... stay tuned)

So today, I'd like to talk about some shows that I really disdain... I mean I really do and there's a good reason. Next time, I'll talk about my favorite shows. Onto the crap...

Shows I disdain

24 - This show was innovative, exciting, and on the edge of your seat entertainment... but many of the things that made the show great, no longer are present on the show now. Plus I don't know why Jack Bauer never seems to go to the bathroom, or stop to eat something... The plots are formulaic and predictable, and I don't like how they treat middle eastern ethnicities or the Chinese for that matter. It has become so cliche it's not even funny (especially with the fear in the media today) From what I read, the new season is supposed to be more personal and gripping. Whatever... just make sure Kiefer stops drinking himself silly.

The Real World - This show genre was the pioneer in reality show programming... before Survivor was ever a twinkle in Mark Burnett's eye, this show kicked major ass. There was the first season in New York, there was the season in San Francisco and it's focus on AIDS and HIV and becoming familiar with someone on TV who had it. It was truly revolutionary. It was thought provoking. It was a breath of fresh air. But now? Sex. Fighting. Sex. Fighting. Nudity. Promiscuity. More Nudity. Fighting. Crying. Semi transparent/Opaque shower doors. Sex in the shower. Oh and they are in an exotic locale which is really superfluous because the house really looks the same every year. I don't know when this show took its nose dive into everything raunchy. But I have a problem with people who whore themselves out for attention. I see that enough in real life, and don't need it in my TV show viewing. In general, I really am starting to disdain reality TV that doesn't involve food and competition.

Grey's Anatomy - This show is by far the most tired, boring, unimaginative piece of crap I've seen in some time. I was sucked in because many people at work love it. And when I say people, I mean the women, and one guy who really should stop watching it but has to because his wife does. Anyway, I watched it long ago and then stopped for 2 seasons or so. The women would talk about it and I didn't know what they were talking about, so I started to watch it again and lucky for me, I got to watch one of the worst seasons. You know a show is bad, when the main character is in a life threatening situation plot and about to die, and you kinda hope she does. Another thing I hate is the dialogue and it bears repeating what I saw 1 minute last night when the two off again - on again characters where about to break up again. This is how it sorta went...

McDreamy: So we are breaking up...
McMeredith: We are breaking up...
McDreamy: We are breaking up...
McMeredith: We are breaking up...

I'm sorry, can someone please put them out of their misery? I turned the channel and to my dismay this morning when I wanted to know what happened after that?... It was breakup sex. (but I'm sure the stimulating pillow talk was great as well) I'm sorry but if you still like this show... aren't you tired of the run around? This couple is light years behind the 'tug on heart strings' nature of Ross and Rachel, or even Pam and Jim (more on those two in the shows I like blog entry). These two are not at all likable and this is why the show failed with me. In addition, I've never seen such bad acting, bad story telling, bad dialogue, and just bad characters on a supposedly popular TV show.

Desperate Housewives - Now for those people who can't take the intellectual complexities of a hospital on Grey's Anatomy. Never fear. Because there's another show on ABC that will entertain you with the use of fewer brain cells. That show is Desperate Housewives. Granted, I've only watched like 3 episodes (if that many), so this is based on a small sample size. But honestly, if you watch any more than that... I think you might need to go to a doctor (preferably not one from Seattle Grace on Grey's Anatomy). Know what the problem with this show is? Name one actress from this show. Did you say Eva Longoria? There in lies the problem. For a good show, the first person mentioned varies. That's a sign of a great ensemble cast. Eva Longoria is a good actress, but so are Felicity Huffman, Teri Hatcher, Nicolette Sheridan, and my favorite Marcia Cross. But it seems that I only can recall Eva Longoria... or maybe it's because I follow basketball and she's always watching her husband Tony Parker play all the time. Anyway, it's a slippery slope when your show is only about one person... case in point.

Show with an ensemble cast

Show all about one guy

That's not a good thing.

And from the files of, I liked this show when it was on the first time... I really hated that it was pulled off the air and now it's back as a horrible clone...

Moonlight - whatever... you are just filler for small headed, big haired Jennifer Love Hewitt's show. I much preferred ...

Angel - Now that's a vampire show...

The last show I want to bring up, isn't really a show, but really a person. A person that has been force fed down our throats, burned into our retinas, and made to believe is a talented cook... Oh yes my friends, you definitely know where I am going with this... the queen of Yum-O herself.

Rachael Ray - Yeah, not much I can say about her...

Except that I really don't understand how she has like 3-5 shows on TV. She doesn't know how to tip on that one show. She cooks meals in 30 minutes on that other show, which I wouldn't want to eat in the first place. She tries to act like she's much younger than she is with phrases like "Yum-O" which only makes her look pathetic and not sexy and definitely not cute. I could write an essay on why Rachael Ray is bad but it could be worse...

...A LOT WORSE.

Next time... shows I just love.

LeeZy

Coddling

2007-09-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

By now, you might have seen the famous video of Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy yell at Oklahoman newspaper sports reporter Jenni Carlson. If not... here it is...

Basically, Ms. Carlson wrote an article on why the star quarterback to the football team was benched when he was probably the best player on the team. Ms. Carlson appears to be a legit sports reporter for the Oklahoman and has a blog where she writes down her thoughts about the Oklahoma State football team. The article in question... (wait... have you read the article yet?) is what caused the football coach to blow up and get all upset about the media (or namely, Ms. Carlson) who verbally attacked a harmless, good kid.

Kid huh? Let's look up his stats... born December 1985... that would make him 21 years old. Yeah, whatever... he's a football player... legal drinking age... adult in the eyes of the law... I'm sure he can take the criticism... it's called character building, it's called building your personal resolve, it's called getting thick skinned, it's called growing up!

So if one has read the article, one will read that Ms. Carlson made a bunch of comments (from observations or other sources) that sheds some light on why everyone is defending Bobby Reid, the football player that got clowned in the article.

It's pretty funny stuff. Not only has the coach reacted like Will Ferrell which is comedy gold (in a youtube video that will be the most viewed video this week), but the article is hilarious... I mean the guy is still being fed by his mother.

Yes, you read that right... here's a quote:

" Bobby Reid stood near the team charters last Friday night, using his cell phone, eating his boxed meal. It would've been normal post-game activity but for one thing. His mother was feeding him chicken."

I certainly hope he washed down that chicken with a nice glass of his mother's breast milk... oh what am I saying... I'm sure he still gets it straight from the source... the fresher the better.

Now I understand that coach Mike Gundy doesn't want to have the confidence of quarterback Bobby Reid, shrivel up to the size of a lima bean, or worse, a chicken drumette. The person is young and this is his future and everything... but if what was said, is true... this is freaking hilarious... a grown man (yes you can be a grown man at 21), still being fed by his mom... you were asking for it... fear the bloggers!

That's what's missing from the coverage of this article, the response, and the youtube video goodness.

I just needed to say that... okay... as you were...

Here comes the airplane....
it's doing a loop the loop.....
weee!!!! ...
it's flying and now it's diving....
up and down... side to side...
oh oh...
it needs to land....
I think someone needs to open up the hangar...

Now that's mommy's good boy... yes he is... he's the most special quarterback in the world...

LeeZy

Think you can steal my @#$%!& and sell it?

2007-09-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

30 years per felony x 7 felonies = locked up for a long long time.... It's about time...

Oh OJ... you stupid, stupid man... but I guess if you did steal all that memorabilia, it was because you loved it so much right? What? You're sorry? You want to give it back...?

I read this morning that this is comparable to Hitler being acquitted of all the heinous crimes he committed, but then being busted later for running a red light and thrown in jail for the rest of his life. Firstly, this is not the same as Hitler and I don't even know where to start about how that's not the same. But the end result is what is satisfying to me. There's audio tapes of him false imprisoning people, shouting orders... it shows that side we all suspected, the one that is able to brutally murder 2 people in cold blood and then think he did nothing wrong, or completely forget the whole incident altogether.

Well anyway, I hope this time, the trial is not going to be a media whore's wet dream... but I somehow doubt it. This guy isn't available to represent OJ (God rest his soul)...

But I bet this guy is...

But good luck with that armed robbery thing... I'm sure you'll find a way out of it... you can blame it on other people like Michael Vick... oh wait... that didn't end up well either. Oh well...

Memo to the prosecution: Please avoid the previously racist cops who might not have the best history... Personally I'd prefer you hire this investigator out of Las Vegas...

LeeZy

Those that labored through Labor Day

2007-09-04T08:31:00.001-07:00

Hello... hope you all had a good Labor Day weekend.

Today, I'm going to pontificate about sports people who had bad weekends... because there are certainly people who didn't have great weekends or had weekends that could have been better. I mean really... why was anyone working hard over this weekend? It's Labor Day. Oh whatever.

1) Michigan fans

To put into perspective how shameful Michigan's loss to Appalachian State was this weekend at home, I must put it into a comparison to other sports and English sports. It's like 2006 Minor League AAA champion baseball team Tucson beating the Tigers in Detroit. It's like Hamburg (champions of NFL Europa, a sub-tiered football league) beat the New Orleans Saints in New Orleans. But to best describe how egregious this loss was, let me use an English Premier League reference...

It's like Sunderland beat Chelsea at Stamford Bridge last year before Sunderland ascended to the Premier League.

Top level college football teams schedule these cupcake, mickey mouse type games early in the season, to give their team a guaranteed win, perhaps show some charity to those lower level teams... but rarely has it come back and kick a team squarely in the crotch like this... Unbelievable... at least some teams play in a decent match-up their first game out.

2) Reche Caldwell

He got cut from the New England Patriots this weekend... I think he's still bugging out from January's football game.

3) Maria Sharapova

It's sucks to lose... but it also sucks when your father/coach/control freak, decides to leave before you even finish your match, in which you are losing in the last set... in quite a horrific fashion... good parenting Yuri Sharapova... and good coaching... way to give the impression to your daughter to never give up...

I must admit though... it was a brutal match... but it was your daughter who had to scream, yell, and grunt through that long, hard, exhausting, climatic set... (eat your heart out Danielle Steele)

At least we got to see what she wears during the day as opposed to night... the above picture is her red evening outfit if she was still in the tournament...

4) Notre Dame

Could you at least decide on a quarterback? Do you know what this horrible team is missing... this guy as coach.... again ... I like to think the fans of Notre Dame are as delusional as this guy.

5) Me because of a stupid baseball bet I made...

So back in April, before this baseball season started... I was offered this seemingly harmless bet. Which pitcher would have the most wins... a top guy who just signed for 7 years, 130+ million dollars, or some guy off the scrap heap who was washed up in every sense of the word. A number one pitcher versus a number five pitcher. The loser would have to organize a softball game that I have been known to organize in the past.

How could I lose? I mean really... even though I thought that expensive baseball pitcher sucked, he would surely get more wins than the number 5 guy who eats at In N Out Burger twice a day. Come on!

my guy

the other guy (Mr. Double Double)

So I took up the bet where I bet Barry Zito, #1 pitcher of your San Francisco Giants would have more wins by the end of the season than Russ Ortiz, #5 pitcher of your San Francisco Giants. And even if there was a tie, I would lose, because it's shameful to draw on a technicality when I'm trying to prove even if some guy is overrated, he would at the very least do better than the #5 pitcher.

It seems my friend would be trying to win on some kind of loophole, like wins in AAA baseball or relief appearances... but that was the least of my worries. I like trying to make things as fair as possible and as interesting as possible... to my detriment.

After May 3 (5 games each), the standings were as follows...
Zito 2 wins
Ortiz 2 wins

Not good, Zito didn't start very well and Ortiz was performing better than expected... but then the first monkey wrench was thrown in. Ortiz had to go on the disabled list... So we were at an impasse. I didn't want the bet to end and it was not going to be very interesting for all parties if we just stopped right then and there.... After deliberating for about a month... and seeing how this new rookie was performing for the Giants, I would let my friend use the player who was taking Ortiz's place in the pitching rotation while the other guy was out on injury.... that guy was Tim Lincecum.

the new guy

I was being generous... I didn't want the bet to die... it made me happy to hear him complain about the Giants and I needed a way for him to stay interested. Ortiz eventually came back to pitch but in relief, but my damage had already been done... or so I thought.

After June 5 (13 games each), standings were as follows...
Zito 6 wins
Ortiz/Lincecum 4 wins

At the time, my friend was thinking he could just forget Ortiz and use Lincecum instead, which would have made the standings closer, but it was all about Ortiz vs Zito, to be fair.

What would be fair was to have Ortiz play for the entire season instead of get hurt for the 2nd time on June 5th. So we reverted back to Lincecum for Ortiz instead while he was out.

Ortiz didn't come back until August, but the damage was already done... and thoughts of organizing a softball game would soon haunt me... again. The standings were tied.

After August 7 (24 games each), standings were as follows...
Zito 8 wins
Ortiz/Lincecum 8 wins

So once again, this seems fair... the original bet conditions were on... who would win most before the end of the season... do or die... winner take all... this is Spartaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sorry]

I did fairly well... Zito had 1 win and Ortiz didn't have any... I was pretty happy...

After August 22 (27 games each), standings were as follows...

Zito 9 wins
Ortiz/Lincecum 8 wins

So what would ruin this good run? Save my friend from regretting this horrible choice in a bet? Why that would be a season ending injury to his pitcher... He pretty much conceded the whole thing... he was done... but we went this far... why not just see what happens... his point was made though... Ortiz was better than I thought... or the #5 guy was better than I thought. I think we might just end up sharing this bet 50/50 because there were so many things wrong and unfortunate with the timing of the injuries...

So to extend the bet, to see what happens... I let my friend... actually convinced my friend to take a very favorable scenario... he would take the pitcher that replaced Ortiz... another guy by the name of Kevin Correia who was fresh from lack of work this season.

the last guy (lifeline)

[by the way, if you know nothing about baseball, or find baseball boring, but you are still reading this to see if there's going to be a softball game... I applaud you... but this bet isn't over yet... check back in a month]

It seems that I may have pressed my luck... because now I'm finally losing...

After September 4 (29 games each), standings were as follows...

Zito 9 wins
Ortiz/Lincecum/Correia 10 wins

and with one month to go... I give up... granted that now I feel like giving up because I'm losing... but this bet seems to be flawed ever since the original guy got hurt... I'm more than willing to share hosting/organizing duties for this softball game if the margin of victory stays the same... What do you think? Vote in the poll and help us decide. I think I should be given a lifeline because I threw him 2 or was that 3 lifelines?

Or as he suggested, we could decide this at the batting cages...

So yeah... bad sports weekend for me... this is starting to suck big time.

LeeZy

Shred Nugent

2007-08-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

A small note to the blog readers out there today...

Read this article... it's about this Air Guitar performer who goes by the name of Shred Nugent, but some of you know him as Kurt Brown. I hope I sprinkled a bit more celebrity on top of what he already has.

Enjoy!

LeeZy

A New Approach

2007-08-16T17:09:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

A little new approach to my blog... I'm going to include the links that i find very interesting on the side under the appropriately named "LeeZy's shared items". What will be missing because I'm doing this, is my commentary or witty (I would hope) remarks about these links. But what is added is when I see something funny or interesting, I can just make it instantly shareable and voila, it instantly appears on this page.

For the main meat of this blog, I will save it for when I have something interesting to say, something to preach about from my little soapbox... essentially something important enough for me to bring up. I hope this will make for a more interesting blog to read.

And of course if I do a bunch more Simpsons faces... I'll include those pictures as well.

By the way, watch the Simpsons Movie... it's that good.

LeeZy

My Friend's Wedding

2007-08-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

This is a picture from one of my favorite shows, "How I Met Your Mother"... it's about good friends, who pal around with each other, care about each other, worry about each other, and more importantly, hang around with each other. That's what good friends do after all. In fact, one character in the show Barney (portrayed wonderfully by Neil Patrick Harris), traveled across the country after suffering through months and months of seeing his friend Marshall in a severe state of depression. Now why was he did he go cross country? Was it because he couldn't stand his friend anymore? Was he just selfish and wanted to go on a vacation to get away from his friend? Nope... It was to see Marshall's ex-girlfriend, to tell her that she and Marshall belonged together, and that she would never find anyone else better, and she should go back home and be with Marshall. That is what a friend is... though he might not show that side of him all the time... THAT is what a friend is deep down.

I really love that show. Added plus... another character Robin, she's really pretty. She's the one on the left.

A little off subject but anyway... so today, I'm going to say a few words about my friend who's getting married this weekend.

In my opinion, my friend and I were pretty close. You might get a different opinion from her now, but there was a time when I would be worried sick about her. Whether she was going to have a job, whether or not I would have to say good-bye to her because she couldn't stay in this country without a job. Things like that. I'm sure she also worried about me and the constant laundry list of problems I deal with it on a daily basis. So based on these examples, I think we were pretty close. If we were worrying about each other, by definition, we were probably pretty close friends.

But now, probably not so much anymore. We used to have breakfast every workday morning and chit chat about random stuff. But those morning chats disappeared and then stopped happening. One day while sitting in the lunchroom/kitchen at work, some guy who usually doesn't talk to me, asked me this one simple question...

"So where's your breakfast buddy?"

Ahh... if it was so simple to answer, everything would make a little more sense.

But such is life, people drift apart, meet new people and go on living their lives. But these are usually people I leave behind when I change jobs, they change jobs, or move away.... not when I still see them on a constant basis in the hallways. That's what saddens me the most. I kind of figured that I would be watching my friend get married in a ceremony around here, and be happy for her, or at the very least see what she looks like in a wedding dress. But it's her wedding I have no reason to bitch and moan. Hopefully I'll see pictures someday.

Don't get me wrong. I am still very happy for my friend, her marriage, her new husband, and glad it's all happening. But now unfortunately, it has the feel of getting a phone call from an old classmate who say that they heard that a college friend got married a few weeks ago. I could not describe it any better than that.

So I offer my congratulations, raise a glass, look in someone's eyes (because you know what happens if you don't look someone in the eye during a toast) and say, "Cheers!"

May they live wonderful lives together happily for a long long time.

LeeZy

Epilogue: 24 hours before my friend gets married, she instant messages me and we have a very brief chat of what she just did, and how she has 24 hours to go until she is a "Mrs". I asked if she was doing OK and if her brain has turned to mush from all the planning. She said everything was fine, brain is not mush, but she also wishes she was there a little bit longer. But she is perfectly fine.

So with that being said, I no longer feel like I'm just hearing about a college friend get married as second hand information. It's amazing what a little communication will do. But for the purposes of telling the story, I won't delete anything from above and you can read, how it happens... It's how I felt at the time. Cheers!

Don't spoil the "Harry" Ending

2007-07-25T12:18:00.001-07:00

Please don't tell me what happens.

Granted I started getting into the Harry Potter books late in the game. When the first movie was coming out, I was a little startled by the fanfare and attention it was getting. When the new 5th book came out, people were rushing to get it and read it within a day just to wait another 2-3 years for the next one.

And if it wasn't for other circumstances... I'd probably get it and read it right away so someone doesn't spoil the ending for me as well.

But I'm not going to read it just yet. And I'll tell you why.

There are many sagas and stories that have been completed in my time that I couldn't wait to find out the ending to. The first big one was Star Wars. When the prequels started coming out, I really wanted to know how it all ended ... or how it all ended before it began before it ended .... uh... yeah... just wanted to know what happened. So we waited and episode 1 came out.

[thud]

and then episode 2 came out...

[splat]

and then we waited for the improbable episode 3 to come out...

[eh]

What the hell was I waiting for again? Granted I shouldn't be comparing Star Wars to Harry Potter... but the concept is the same. Everyone wants to know how it all ends. Does Harry die? Does Harry live? Does Harry declare his feelings for Ron? Does Harry kill Ron because he really loves Hermione? Does Hermione seduce Harry in some scene at the end because it is revealed that she was a spy all along...?

Does Voldemort reveal that he's really Harry's father all along? (I'm going to find this blog entry very interesting later after I read the book).

Regardless of what happens... I would really like to enjoy this book and read it at a very leisurely rate because this is the last book. Nothing more after this. And I will undoubtedly wish there was more after I finish reading this, especially if I rush through it just to find out what happens at the end. I will also take pleasure having people know that I'm still experiencing the magic of the books while they already went through it and have nothing else to look forward to (maybe to read it again?... true... but nothing like your first time right?)

Life is really wasted on finding the answers to things and never about the journey. This is a moral that is not new to the ordinary person. But is always forgotten when it could be specifically applied in reality. I am not the biggest fan of Harry Potter and not there from the very beginning... but I am going to enjoy reading this book. I am not going to rush through it in 5 days and miss something. Like a fine elegant meal or a long walk on the beach at sunset or well... you know... you need to savor the moments. Because there's nothing more after this. So enjoy it.

Or someone can spoil it before I read it in a few months.... Harrumph!

LeeZy

Epilogue (July 26, Noon): Since JK Rowling has updated the end of her book with a news story concerning any final questions and answers people might have... I have a little prologue myself to my blog from yesterday.

The morning after I posted this blog entry, I was awoken by my clock radio alarm. It was like any other weekday morning. It went off at 6 AM. I could barely hear what was on the radio except that it was my favorite morning radio show. It's something a little less jarring than the "beep beep beep" sound and allows me about an hour to fully awake before I brush my teeth and get to work.

Today apparently they did something really funny and annoying... to me.... inadvertently. At about 6:45 AM or so, they warned people that they were going to do some Harry Potter spoiler bit using ringtones and whatnot... and if anyone didn't want to hear the spoilers from the book... to please turn off the radio for 5 minutes or so... they warned the listening audience many times. Which is fine... and respectable...

Except for me who was half awake, in bed, trying to get a few more minutes of slumber and not really paying attention to what they were saying. So imagine my surprise when (I'm not going to be writing out any spoilers) I heard the sound of

-------------------------

[office phone ring]

Attention!!!

Harry [insert Harry Potter spoiler]

[office phone ring]

Attention!!!

Another Harry Potter character [insert Harry Potter spoiler]

-------------------------

It took about 5 different ring tones for me to realize that what they were playing was something I really shouldn't be listening to...

Chances are, my subconscious heard every last bit of the ringtones and fully knows what happens in the book. My full conscious mind, remembers 2 or 3 things said, but I'm not too pleased to be researching ways if the machine in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" is actually real so I can take out this morning's memory.

Needless to say, I'm grumpy right now... :(

More Animated Heads

2007-07-21T08:29:00.000-07:00

Today.... some links and more heads that I created.... from that Simpsonize me website...

Very soon... I'll get sick of this... but for now.... it's just too cool. Have a great weekend.

Links

The very best commercial... I've seen... this month... featuring Skittles.

Let's think of the worst possible scenario for a football video game... First we have to have OJ Simpson in it... let's see... what team would he play for.... how about "The Assassins"... yeah... that's perfect... now what would their mascot be?.... how about Death himself... and what would Death do after he scores a touchdown?....

It's all about the journey... and everything does sound better with an English accent.

Hey... did you know there is a Simpsons movie coming out? Matt Groening was on the Daily show the other day promoting it... talking about how they make fun of FOX News... and on separate notes... here's the chainsaw gag... and the spiderpig gag from the movie...

Google Earth... would be very bad... if it was actually real time or date specific or dependable... a fictional story...

Let me tell you something.... I'm already an angry American before watching this video about the government....

Do you know what a monopoly is? Does the FTC?

Isn't the microwave fun? (thanks to Cory for the link!)

Now onto the Simpsons faces...

LeeZy

Simpsons!

2007-07-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

OK... not much of a post today... but I have been playing with something incredibly fun.

Be diligent... because the final payoff is well worth the effort...

Here are some examples of what I've been playing with... some of the following pictures might be actual readers of this blog... so be on the lookout!

Keep checking back... I will be adding to this post....
Just remember... no one looks great as a yellow 2D character.... but it's sure funny!

LeeZy

What was wrong with the Transformers movie

2007-07-04T17:28:00.000-07:00

Say hello to Perceptor, the transfomer that's a microscope... Yes... I was a big nerd as a kid... I owned it and loved my transforming microscope... even though it was a big sissy.

OK, you are going to read a lot about the Transformers movie... a lot... even really good reviews like this that recommend it to you. And I admit, what's wrong with it will not take away with what makes it so freaking cool... but still... I watched it today and I had to pop in the original 1986 movie to wash the new movie off of me. I just felt really disgusted and if you are a diehard fan, you will too.

But after watching the old movie and thinking back to the new movie, they really could've done a whole lot better than what they did, while satisfying the old school fans of this cartoon genre. I mean it really took very little and they still screwed it up. Let me count the ways.

1. Megatron: He was a transforming gun. OK, there's the argument that Megatron cannot transform into a gun that's 1/100th of his original size. OK... fine... fair enough... it would be very weird and I guess wouldn't fly in a live action movie directed by Michael Bay. But let me introduce to you to the above transformer... Galvatron...

In the movie in 1986, he was what Megatron was recreated into after being abandoned for dead in the plot of the movie. Now when he was recreated, he wasn't a gun anymore. He was a canon or a large turret. Would that help the neigh-sayers embrace the idea of a huge robot alien transforming into a gun or war weapon? I would have no problem having Megatron be a huge canon or turret in this movie. But no, they turned him into some kind of plane. I personally had problems telling him apart from Starscream (yes he's in it).

2. The transforming sound: It's missing! If you speak to any fan of this series, that is one of the most recognizable sounds in cartoon history (besides "Scooby Dooby Dooooooooooooooo!). I mean really, how could you leave out the sound of the Autobots and Decepticons transforming. I know, I know, it doesn't blend in with the whole realistic nature of the movie... the realistic nature of alien robots that attack earth and transform into anything.... it doesn't make sense...

A youtube example

3. Bumblebee: Apparently in the thought process of this movie, Bumblebee needed to be fast and quick automobile. He needed to be able to escape his captors or an enemy. And I guess they needed to market a car that's currently on sale by GM. But was it really necessary for him to be a fast car? I don't think so...

But for some reason there was another VW beetle that Bumblebee (yes he was still called Bumblebee) was channeling as a Camaro. And his name was Herbie... not what I was expecting and not something the fans will like. Hell, if you were going to make him act like Herbie, why the hell didn't just go all the way and make him a VW Beetle? I just don't get it.

4. The Transformer Heads: I'm sorry, but what the hell is this?

5. The Anthony Anderson Effect: Why this guy gets movie roles... I don't know. But every movie he's in, I really wonder if he really lightens the mood of the movie, becomes the comedy relief, or is just an ultimate harbinger of death for the movie. In Transformers he plays a character you don't immediately think the role is best suited for him and he plays it with mediocrity. I honestly don't understand why he was in it. Maybe they needed some kind of Pauly Shore foil. I still disliked every scene he was in.

5. The Voices: The above two photos above are the original voices of the two main characters of the original transformers. Peter Cullen (the top picture) is the voice of Optimus Prime and is in the movie in the same role. Frank Welker (the bottom picture) is the voice of Megatron and is NOT in the movie in the same role. Megatron is being voiced by Hugo Weaving, best known for his role as Agent Smith in the Matrix.

Honestly, didn't even notice that was him. And I'm trying to understand why they went that route. I would've just been fine with Frank Welker and hearing his voice as Megatron would've been awesome and true to the series.

6. Energon Cubes: OK, anyone remember what these were? OK, maybe it was because Soundwave wasn't in this movie... which begs the question... why not? In the plot of the movie, they do end up chasing something that's cube-like... but I guess that's asking for too much to have Energon cubes in a Transformers movie.

So as you can see, a few things would've made this movie better for the diehard fans. But instead, I felt it was only OK.... at least I wasn't bombarded with cheesy catch phrases... oh wait... I was....

damn...

I don't know... the one reason I wanted to watch this movie was for the nostalgia. And the only thing that helped satisfy that was hearing Peter Cullen's voice. If you're going to make a movie like that... at the very least, give something that will appease the fans. Marvel helped craft the movies about their comic books. I guess Hasbro really needed the money. And I also blame Steven Spielberg for screwing it up too. But not as much as Michael Bay... the freakin idiot. Thanks for ruining a childhood memory.... forever.

Now I got to pop in my 1986 version of the movie so I can wash that new movie off of me...

LeeZy

Ahhh... you shouldn't have...

2007-06-30T13:46:00.001-07:00

I just love this above photo... I copied it from here... but I thought it was a great first photo to post for today.

Ahhh... the iPhone... I've actually cooled about it... I no longer am needing it and I actually think there are too many negative things about it. And it's also a good thing I didn't wait in line... because you might have seen people like this.... actually I would have loved to have been there to laugh at this woman and point... btw.. what's the deal with bringing cash?... seriously?

By my oh my... how far we've come...

BUSTED!!!!

I'm just speechless by this Colbert clip...

The only person worse than Paris Hilton, is none other than Larry King.

When someone works out, eats right, focuses their exercises on their abdominal muscles, does many sit ups / crunches every day, one can obtain the 'six pack' look on their stomach... or if that's too much for you... buy this invention...

Now if you haven't seen the dramatic chipmunk, I apologize for not updating the blog earlier.

The original footage from that Japanese Show
The dramatic chipmunk (technically another animal, but who really cares?)

Dr. Evil Chipmunk
Curses!
Bombay Chipmunk
Darthmatic Chipmunk
Kill Bill Chipmunk

Director's Cut

The best one...
The LOST Version

I don't want an iPhone Nano...

I need this rewritten for the violin please...

Remember the cover of Nirvana's 'Nevermind' album? The baby swimming underwater? He's seventeen years old now.... BAM... now you feel old.

I have this iPhone as well... it sucks... and I misplace it all the time.

Where does the hole in the CD go? I mean doughnuts have doughnut holes... but where are the CD holes? Anyway... some nice art for your CD....

And finally one last iPhone review... but done in that sarcastic manner that I personally enjoy...

See you guys later...

LeeZy

On the Menu today...

2007-06-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

For your browsing pleasure... stuff to click...

Now if you haven't seen Robot Chicken Star Wars on Sunday... you missed out on something funnier and more entertaining than any of those damn prequels... Lucky for you, I provided you a link. Here's a trivia question for you though... what would be the name of a pornographic magazine in the Star Wars universe? Answer at the end of today's blog.

By the way... what the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?

Speaking of all things Star Wars, Natalie Portman was somewhat forgettable in those prequels. But she starred in many other movies that were much better (V for Vendetta, Closer, and my personal favorite from long ago, Beautiful Girls). And not only is she very cute and brainy (she went to Harvard), she's also co-authored a paper and her real last name isn't Portman either.

Sometimes.... you hear the most random conversations on the street.

I don't know what's worse... Hillary Clinton decided to parody the Sopranos Finale... or that she's using a Celine Dion musical tune as her campaign song. They're both equally bad. By the way, for those of you who don't know who that guy staring at Bill, it's the guy who portrayed a crime boss in the Sopranos, Johnny Sack.

I love hybrid cars... they let you get into the HOV lane without having to have the minimum of passengers, you get to feel smug when you drive one, and you are helping the environment. But they don't entitle you to take all the shortcuts through town...

Hey... there's a small piece of property that's for sale on the SF Bay... Pros: you get to own the only private property on the bay, no fear of solicitors, secluded... Cons: you are near traffic, you are near a road, but you can't use it to get home, and everyone can see your place on the way home.

I just thought this was cool... how the USA looks like in the eyes of the FAA.

Could someone please make this burger?

And I'd just like to point out that a woman wrote this article about engagement rings...

I like this map... California is usually talked about as if it was it's own country... they are just expanding the metaphor to other states.

This may sound cheesy, but it's a pretty good outline to get the most out of life...

Wow... who knew soda was so useful?

The answer to the trivia question is Naboobies. Thank you, but please give the credit to Robot Chicken Star Wars.

LeeZy

Presentations

2007-06-05T23:11:00.001-07:00

Today... in honor of my friend (and loyal reader of this blog) who is about to give a big presentation this Friday.... I have 2 great links about powerpoint presentations. Hope you all enjoy them.

Firstly... how not to give a presentation...

Lastly... probably the most easiest presentation you could give. Don't forget to look at the scientific paper describing this phenomenon because it's hard to read the youtube video.

LeeZy

Excellent Knocked Up review

2007-06-04T22:08:00.000-07:00

Here is a very good review of 'Knocked Up' if you need another reason to go watch it...

LeeZy

Crowning Achievements

2007-06-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody!

More on why I named today's post the way I did, later.

What a crazy weekend... lots of interesting stuff...

The Danish soccer fans... those crazy guys... all he was trying to do was just hug the guy... Is that so bad? All I know is now, Steve Bartman can rest easy now... because now I've seen something truly stupid a fan has done to kill his own team...

This all seems staged... the hand grenade was a nice touch though...

I love Star Wars. I love Family Guy. This here is a preview of the culmination of both worlds... the anticipation for this is too great... greater than the next new episode of Lost.

Paris Paris Paris... tsk tsk tsk.... you couldn't even stay away from the MTV movie awards could you? I mean really... do you have to be seen at this? You're just asking for ridicule... or you basking in the idea of one more night going commando before you need to really lock it all up?

iPhone... I want one even more now...
Commercial 1 - Never Been an iPod
Commercial 2 - How to
Commericial 3 - Calamari

And lastly, I saw a great movie over the weekend. It was called "Knocked Up"... I really don't want to say much about it but if you liked the "40 Year Old Virgin", you will truly like this movie as well. (If you are a fan of 'Freaks and Geeks' and 'Undeclared'... you will appreciate this movie as well)

It's about a one night stand that ends up being a whole lot more and there's a lot of scenes with babies and preparing for a baby's arrival. And there are plenty of sight gags... I mean really funny and disturbing sight gags... Remember how I was going to explain the title of this blog entry? Well I really shouldn't but if you think about it... what's the worst thing they could show in a movie about having babies? Hmmmm? Think about it...

Yep... they went there... 3 times actually...

LeeZy

Sweating bullets in the jury box

2007-05-29T15:50:00.000-07:00

First off as I write this... here's something to occupy your time...
You notice google maps has a street view function now? All I know, it was taken very recently... based on the cars outside my house...

Whew... anyway... back to Jury Duty Day 1:

That was close... the fact that I'm talking about my jury experience should be indication that I didn't make the jury (thank God). But it was really dicey there.

First off, they make you watch a video... with some lady that resembles Carolyn from the Apprentice (you know, the woman that Trump fired before replacing her with his own daughter, Ivanka). And there's this cheesy music playing that I can't tune out. It's hilarious. So they are showing all these interviews with people who have served on a jury. It's funny. There's this retired librarian... and some farmer... and some dental hygenist... and various other people. They ask some interesting questions that I've thought of at many times. But I tune it out. It's early and I'm really struggling to stay awake. But if the Simpsons should get any new ideas for new spoof documentary/instruction videos... here's an idea.

Then they do roll call... I feel like I'm in my US history class again...

"Here"

I always liked how my name was so easy to pronounce... and others had really hard names that get butchered all the time. It was really mean to laugh at the name "Dyckman" when it was mispronounced... but I was 16 at the time...

Then we get moved into the courtroom and have to raise our hand if we have problems with serving on a jury for an extended period of time. This was going to be a civil court case and was going to last 3-4 weeks, Monday thru Thursday. Holy potatoes!!!! Were they serious? The only saving grace was that it was going to be a nine person jury. But at this time, you really realize how your problems compare to everyone else. I mean, I have problems and issues I deal with every day. But some other people have lots and lots of other things they worry about. They have spouses that are disabled, some have kids that need day care, some have to travel 60 miles to get to the courthouse, and one poor poor soul had to add another chapter to a 1300 page dissertation when his consulting faculty just died from lung cancer and is 3 weeks behind schedule with 2 weeks to go to turn it in.

And then some person had to write an NIH grant.

"Can you get a extension" asks the judge

"Uh, sometimes... but not that much extra time" answers the person.

Sometimes your problems seem so insignificant.... because they could be worse. So this was the time for the first of many sidebars and after that, many people were excused.

Something I should also say... people were randomly placed in a random order and assigned seats... which included the jury box. I was in juror seat 7... of course I was... I was in seat 4 last time.... I really had to make sure I said something when asked various questions. If you don't say anything... they have no reason to doubt your decision making.

Then we find out this is a civil trial involving race discrimination... wow... that's a huge can of beans. The members are then asked if they were ever discriminated because of race or knew of a family member or friend in the same situation. This was then followed by questions about discrimination in general... which I piped up on (for a friend's situation way back in the past).

Or you getting bored yet?... because I wanted to scream "fire" because I was so bored.

Then we were each tested with a pop quiz; or essentially a quiz about ourselves (job, occupation, group memberships, hobbies, etc.)... and then we get to the funniest part of morning.

The lawyers ask us questions, but for a short amount of time and essentially towards all of the jury panel. First it was the plantiff representing the guy suing for monetary damages for discrimination. Now snap judgement... I was for this guy... he looked like a hard working guy, who got fired from his job. I felt for him... I related to him... but that was before his lawyer spoke. This lawyer... she talked about how we felt about awarding damages for discrimination, and if we could do it... or how it could be quantified.... suffering... really deep stuff. Personally, I had no problem with it... but then she asked a question or line of questioning that made the other lawyer object... yes object during juror questioning... We were talking about race and we were talking about discrimination. So what obvious question was going to be asked next?

"Does anyone not know about the OJ Simpson case?"

(groan ... that was me in my head)

"Does anyone remember the name Mark Fuhrman?"

(are you kidding me? did she just bring up Mark Fuhrman?... AAAUUGGHHH!!!)

I'll spare you the rest of this story, but the questioning got really disjointed and I can tell this was going to be an annoying trial... but I still felt bad for the plaintiff and what he might or might not have gone through.

Then I listened to the other lawyer ask questions... he asked about discrimination or intimidation from a previous employer and I spoke up.

Essentially, I was trying to make one set of lawyers hate me... or shed some doubt about whether or not I could be a good juror.

I couldn't help but get the feeling that I was in some reverse lottery... usually you want to get picked for something and when you do, you don't get it... but in a reverse lottery, you don't want to get it and in a pure and unadulterated form of Murphy's law, you get it anyway.

So after all the questions have been answered, the lawyers had yet another sidebar and we had to wait

and wait

and wait

and shuffling of papers

and wait

and then the lawyers starting handing rosters of jurors to each other

and then to the other lawyers

and back again

and back again

... after about an hour of watching the lawyers look up at each of us from their tables (after reading their rosters) and making some inaudible comment to each other, we all patiently waited to hear our verdict... whether or not we would be found .... fit... to be a juror.

and then the clerk got the form and the judge informed us that we would now be notified if we were jurors and if not, she thanked us in advance that our civic duty was appreciated.

So then the clerk got the list, and then on bated breath, we were waiting. And we waited... and waited and waited... and then she started typing something, and we waited.

(I've seen more suspense here than I ever did while watching American Idol)

Bottom line, when they did read the list, I wasn't on it... but of the people who were on it, about 7, were seated in the jury box with myself... (hence why I dodged the bullet)... and the 2 others were seated with the rest of the jury panel.

So I'm thankful... it could be a lot worse... but now I kind of want to know what happens.

Oh well...

I'm getting good at this... maybe I should teach a class. :)

LeeZy

The Joy of Jury Duty

2007-05-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

Ah yes...

Jury duty. Now there have been countless stories of how much it sucks and ways to get out of it. But I'm not going to list them now. But I like to pontificate about what I expect to be a very boring day at the courthouse... and finally something to blog about... Hooray!

I mean... first off... I live in the East Bay of the Bay Area and yet I have to go to San Francisco to appear for jury duty. I thought it was a mistake... but apparently not. I have to waste gas, drive across the bridge, find parking (which is validated, thank God), and appear at 7:45 AM. That's really rough. Not to mention, having to get up even earlier than usual just to make it on time... It's going to be a long day. All for a civic duty... whatever...

But we shall see if I actually get selected to be on a jury. I have strong opinions on every subject. Especially on alcoholism... which was what the last case I almost got picked for. I mean I had some bad memories in college of very belligerent drunks which I don't care to relive. But it was almost 10 years ago but I will try to be impartial about everything... you have to be... because if you try to get out of it by being an ass, you will get thrown in jail.

For the record, I don't think I should be on any jury... I make an opinion in the first 10 minutes and pretty much can't be convinced otherwise unless someone helps me see the situation in a different way. And not many people are skilled in that.

Ha, then I found this link which might prove otherwise.

Well anyway, I'll try blogging about this as long as I'm involved. Let's hope it's not that long.

LeeZy

Here come the brides...

2007-05-16T00:15:00.000-07:00

Hi again.

Been a little busy and just got back from a conference with the company. I've been a bit overwhelmed... but I hear you guys read this still... so I am happy to oblige with something.

But one thing has been on my mind lately. I've been surrounded with news of marriage, weddings, and engagements. It's on TV and it's going on in real life as well. And I don't seem to be able to dodge it.

And it has me feeling very confused and conflicted... as if the world is trying to tell me something... or rub something in my face. But luckily... I have this episode of Scrubs that was shown recently to make me feel a little better.

Scrubs - My Cold Shower Pt 1

Scrubs - My Cold Shower Pt 2

If you're familiar with the show... in this episode JD is coming to grips with his best friend getting engaged....

I sorta know what he's feeling... well not completely...

LeeZy

Bullshit

2007-04-24T23:34:00.000-07:00

A great show... saw a handful of episodes so far...

All are quite excellent... some not for the squeamish... and most not safe for watching at work.... just so you know.... unless you can view pictures of breasts, penises, and others at work... and if you can... kudos to you... where do you work?

Bottled Water (very safe for work, just language as the others)
Pt 1
Pt 2
Pt 3

Circumcision (obviously not safe for work)

Wal Mart Haters (yup not this either, its got video of boobs! the horror!)

Creationism (safe for viewing)

The Best (also safe)

There are plenty of these episodes on google video... check it out... search here....

And lastly a few more links to tide you over until I have time to write more...

This is a cool bet not to lose, but to watch... I can think of other songs to put on that mixtape as well... Ricky Martin, Sanjaya, anything by Bjork... Eddie Murphy... the list goes on...

Live Google earth?... Uh yeah... no thanks... I see enough weird stuff as is... btw... full episode of this Simpsons is here... I wish they chose another soccer player for the cameo... maybe Oliver Kahn?

The Meaning of Life... need I say anymore?

The only reason to go to Rodeo drive... is to watch the reaction to this...

Garfield... in real life...
"yes sir, your lasagna is coming"

And finally.... oh my goodness... do you have 30 minutes to waste... and like a little nostalgia trip? A good friend of mine showed me this clip that made her reminisce of her childhood in the UK. The closest thing I have to that is this... a bunch of 80s cartoon theme song openings to show you...

You're welcome...

LeeZy

Six Life Lessons I learned from the Internet

2007-04-17T14:26:00.000-07:00

Hi folks.

Quick post today... I read something that was pretty funny and thought it would be cool to include it here. I particularly like my commentary about one's life or career in the figurine above.

So... very... true....

Anyhoo... it's funny...

On a serious note, you should also read what this guy said about the Virginia Tech shootings... namely how this one newspaper said the guy was a specific ethnicity of Asian (it doesn't matter but he was Korean)

LeeZy

Hodge Podge

2007-04-13T23:51:00.000-07:00

Did you miss me? Awww... I'm so touched. I guess some of you do really read this here blog. I know, I know... long time no write... I've been just trying to look for something write about and been coming up with nothing. And though I'm sure you all enjoy the links here... but eventually I like to write about something of substance. (Don Imus is one idea). But I got nothing right now, except for some links...

I've been trying to think of something to add to this Peep Show... I don't know how anyone can eat Peeps... it's basically all sugar and are kind of tough. But then again people would wonder how I can eat Krispy Kreme donuts... and I really don't want to but I just got to remind myself, it contains trans fats... not good for your health... I wish the vendor guy at work would bring more bagels.

So it's tax time. Now I don't want to go off on a rant or anything... but why are we paying taxes for nowadays? Is it really to make our lives better? Is it for the benefit of the country? Or is it to help bring more democracy to other countries? I really wonder.... UPDATE... here's how it's spent.

Did you know that rats laugh? I wonder if my friends who read this blog knew that. They must. They "play" with animals. But then again, this video does look like it was taken before many of my friends (and myself for that matter) were born. It's funny, I can hear the rats now....

"Oh please stop, please, sir, you're tickling me... stop it! What the hell is wrong with you... You PERVERT, quit it or I'll call the cops...!"

I want to do something like this on the windows at my workplace... it would look so damn cool. Supposedly we get a huge discount at Office Depot so it would work out...

I love Will Ferrell... I also love the movies he makes over and over...

I have a confession... I really loved the Borat movie. But I also found the Borat character really really annoying. Maybe it was because he was purposely acting like he was to see the reaction of the people he was bothering. So it just seems fitting when a Borat impersonator interviewed Borat so he could see what the whole entire country was subjected to..... uh... NICE!

You paying too much for rent? Find out here.

I really thought a skywalk on the Grand Canyon would be an eyesore but after looking at this video, maybe it would be pretty awesome. But I don't know it would be worth the 25 dollar entrance fee... I rather buy a bunch of canyon shot glasses for my little brother. And I just can't stop thinking about the physics of this structure...

It's fun just to read what some are damned for.

You watch 300 yet? It's pretty much a guy movie really... and it's done in the style of Sin City. It's a gladiator type movie really. I also heard that Anchorman is a funny movie. Guys love it, Gals don't like it as much as Will Ferrell's other movies. Now why, may you ask, am I bringing up these two movies? OH.... yeah....well... watch this trailer...

Dance your cares away.
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play.
Down at Fraggle Rock.

I only find this funny because I'm a little bit of a nerd and I hate home shopping network. Hey you! In the back... stop laughing at me... it's only OK if I call myself a nerd!

Harrummpph! Well then... until next time... hopefully it won't be as long as last time.

LeeZy

A How to Guide to Anything...

2007-03-27T18:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I will be telling you about this hilarious site. It actually isn't supposed to be hilarious primarily, but informative, but when you have how to guides for various things, it can't help but be funny. The site is videojug.

Now why is this site funny? First off the above picture is from the film on how to give a great man to man hug. Do you start to see what I mean? I guess if you are a master of man hugs, maybe you can learn how to air kiss. Then again, I find this probably more important than anything.

OK, maybe you might be starting to notice that these videos seem retarded. People who don't know anything might benefit from these films. Not so... people like Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan could benefit from reading this. And yeah, they could also try and read this... I'm also sure that BS and LL don't have trouble trying to get served quickly at a bar.

There are plenty of films on how to act in an office. Unappropriate things of course. Like how to seduce your boss? Or if that's too spicy, how about how to cope with flirtatious co-workers? The next step would obviously be how to have a secret affair at work? And lastly how to work with an ex. Look around the site... there are even funnier ones to be found.

I think that's all I'll write today. There are plenty of other funny films on video jug. Here's a brief and very random list.

How to be the perfect girlfriend

How to be the perfect boyfriend

How to fold a t-shirt in 2 seconds

How to undo her bra with one hand

How to iron a shirt

How to make Spaghetti Bolognese

How to give a Neck and Shoulder Massage

How to Kill a Vampire

Yeah... I told you there were funny ones.

LeeZy

Profiteers

2007-03-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

Not much to post today... but something very important to watch.

From the makers of

Out-Foxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism

and Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price

comes another movie everyone should watch no matter if you are Republican, Democrat, or whatever.

Iraq For Sale - The War Profiteers

Google Video Link

That's all for today... thanks for reading.

LeeZy

March Madness

2007-03-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

Is it just me?... but this doesn't really look that hard....of course I did play a violin for 7 years as a kid.

So March Madness (college basketball tournament) is upon us and I've learned one new thing about myself. I really hate Duke... and here's a good reason why. Just as good as Italians at soccer...

Speaking of soccer.... all this is missing is a robot to pick up after your dog when it does it's business...

I'm really bad a bowling... not this bad...

I welcome our new crab overlords...

Don't you just love bluetooth? Yeah neither do I...

I haven't watched Jeopardy since the days of Ken Jennings... but this seems rigged... or not that extraordinary... I'm surprised it hasn't happened before.

Crazy... just crazy... (it's safe for work, don't know why it was tagged like that)

As a friend of mine said (thanks CO), just whisper to yourself these 2 words over and over as you watch this... "Eat it".... "Eat it"

Ahhhh...... if BART only looked like this...

LeeZy

Awkward moments...

2007-03-12T08:51:00.000-07:00

So there's this show that I watched a year or so ago that I thought sounded very intriguing... I only watched a couple episodes and it got to be too real (or too stupid) so I stopped watching it. But the premise was good. It was about poor pretty boy Barry Watson starring as some guy named Brian who has a group of friends, all of which were involved in their own relationships.... except him. He was literally the 5th wheel or 7th wheel (there were 3 couples). And I guess the show was how he was going to cope or live his life around his good friends who were trying to do the same but in relationships. OK, now I remember why I stopped watching this show. He was Barry Watson (third from the right in the above picture). He was a handsome man. Are you telling me he couldn't get a date so that he had to be fixed up by his friends? Yeah, I wasn't believing this. Come to think of it, there were other subplots and subtexts that were hitting a little close to home and I had to stop watching it as well (if you want to know what these were, I'm not telling... read a spoiler). I have no idea what the plot is consisting of now, but I was watching too many TV shows, so I stopped watching this one.

So I thought long and hard about whether or not I should write what I'm writing today... First I thought about whether or not my friends might think I'm being overly sensitive or I'd come off as a sad sack. Then I thought that no matter how it seems like I don't think anyone is reading my blog, there are some people who are. This is not a diary... it's a blog. Very distinct differences. So first let me express that I'm not asking for pity or sympathy. I really am not. I am also not asking for any of my friends to act any different around me in the future. You do what comes natural and I would do the same thing in the same situation if the moment was right. (Don't Change!) And lastly I am only writing and publishing this entry of my blog, because it will be therapeutic knowing that I opened myself up in this way. If I just write it to myself like a diary, I don't get the benefit or notion that someone might be reading what I wrote, and that's what I need now.

OK, so here goes...

So there was a very good reason why I brought up "What About Brian". Why? Because I felt I was Brian this past weekend. I was at my friend's 30th birthday party. I was surrounded by a lot of friends who wanted to celebrate with said birthday person. It was great. The surprise went off as expected which meant the person of honor was actually surprised. There was lots of laughter and lots of giggling and lots of smiling faces. I had a really good time.... the best in a while.

But interlaced in all the smiling faces and laughter was something that unexpectedly shined an uncomfortable light on myself. There were 11 people there, of which 5 pairs were couples... and one person by themselves. I was the odd wheel like Brian from that show.

It was not one thing in particular that I saw that set it off... a kiss on the cheek... a light stroke of the back of the neck... a lean on the shoulder... another kiss on the cheek... I've seen these public displays of affection all my life so it didn't bother me; it actually made me appreciate life in general. I wasn't at the end of the table so it would look obvious that I was the only person by himself. I was enjoying the party completely. But what happened is I saw those moments when it gets a little calmed down and you can't help by glance at the people at the table to see how everyone is doing and you see it. You see these tender moments that just happen and you don't care what the world thinks. Because you are in your own world with your significant other. It's just that I never realized that it made me take stock of my own life as it did for me right then and there. I just wish there was a way so I wouldn't feel quite so unintentionally singled out. It was my own fault and my own insecurities really.

There was no force of nature, natural disaster, impending doom, terror attack that would've made me want to leave my friend's birthday party. But I guess I've never ever been in a situation quite like that with no other people there to share the "heights" of being single. Though I did feel disdain for the moment (and it was not directed at my friends), these are the awkward moments that make you open your eyes and realize what you want in life.... to appreciate it more when it is your time to shine. But like everything, you have to take it one day at a time. The take home message that I should have took that night (that I just realized just now) is this. Even though these were couples who were in love and showing affection and making me think of this song, they were still my friends and friends of friends and ... sometimes... that is really and truly all you need to make it to the next day.

LeeZy

Lucky Number 6

2007-03-06T21:08:00.000-08:00

Holy shit... March 7, 2007 is my 6 year anniversary of working at this one company. Has it really been 6 years for me? Time has really gone by fast and I really don't know what happened. Six years ago, I started here incredibly frustrated from my last job of 3.5 years. I was worked to near death. In September of 2000, I was putting in 12 hour shifts every day. I did not have a day off. I drove the 40 mile round trip commute like a zombie. I was underpaid. I was hating everything. So when that month was over, I was hoping for a rest and normal working hours. I was wrong.

From October to December of that year, I did have days off but they were rare and I was under constant pressure to finish my project, no matter how many hours were in the day. By the time January came around, I was done, I was finished, I had enough. Luckily I had a friend who had a girlfriend interview for my current job and it wasn't right for her, but it was right for me.

I have met a lot of people here since I started. Some were assholes. Some were weird. Some were funny. Some became true friends. A few I was smitten with. All were memorable and there's even a small group of people that I am very protective of. A small group that I would do anything for because getting through a place for 6 years, you need people like this to carry your spirit and help you see the next day.

There's no mistaking it. I complain. I complain because I am dealt a pretty ugly poker hand every day. But as in life (or poker where you're playing with wild cards), I have encountered many wild cards that make my hand playable. Sometimes I win, more often than not I lose, but it was fun in the process. Last weekend, I was dealt a full house and I couldn't contain my poker face. I even had a couple wild cards to make sure that I couldn't lose no matter what happened. I was so very happy.

So in this article on my 6 year anniversary, I will write briefly about the 6 wild cards that have helped me continue to battle with the hand that I was dealt in my own way. I guess that would be one wild card for every year completed. Take some time today or whenever and think about who your wild cards would be and how many you have by now. I'm sure it isn't that hard when you think about it.

Life is short and I really understand that today. We go around keeping our feelings to ourselves to protect ourselves from vulnerability. When these thoughts eventually do come out, it's for an occasion like a farewell... I just feel "why save it for farewells?", when it can be expressed now, when you are still surrounded by these people.

MLL - The ambassador... If you are new to the company, she will most undoubtedly welcome you and take you under her wing.... and even though it's hard to believe at times, people still remember this. Had I started after her, I would have gotten the same welcome. I personally, will always remember her kindness, compassion and her ability to make a great cream cheese frosting on her even tastier variety of desserts.

AR - Is it time to go home yet? Everyone has been exposed to this at one point or another. The common morning greeting that reminds you where you are. But he's great, because he's been here longer than I have and so I don't feel like an old timer. If someone thinks I've changed a lot, look a little different, seen a lot here, they haven't met AR. I'm just glad he's here to help me compartmentalize things.

MT - This person just turned 30 and all I can say is, if I met her today, I would've guessed another younger rounder age. She's got a heart of gold and I respect the heck out of her. It seems like I've known her all my life, but it really only has been 6 years at most. It's good when you meet someone like that. I always feel I went to kindergarten with her.

JKR - "No, I think the name of Jewel's album is 03/04 not 04/03".... odd little conversations like that are the foundations of my friendship with JKR. That quote was in the car when I drove her back from an outing when she first interviewed here. Little did I know that things would change for me in so many ways. Now I can't even comprehend what my life will be if I didn't run into her for at least 2 min for a conversation at work. I know that day is coming. Life will take us on separate paths and drifting apart is unavoidable. So I appreciate every moment now... as if it's the last but I know that won't be until later. I guess I can't help but be sad when it does happen.

PMN - This is the guy who knows a thing or two about working at the company for a long time. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I've known this guy for a long time as well. Through very happy times, very monumental times, very scary times, and very insignificant times. The good thing about these 'times' as I liked to call it, was that he made me think and analyze things from a different perspective. The English perspective, though known usually for it's pessimistic flavour, helped me bin the rose coloured spectacles of living in America. Now I question everything and be happy about doing so.

CPW - A short blurb doesn't justify what this guy is all about. He's gracious. He's caring. He acts in a way that makes all those around him, emulate him. When you watch the news and hate what you see, he is what is good about this world. And I am very glad to know this man. My life would be pretty flavorless and stale if not for the shining sun embodied in this young man. More than a great friend, he's a blood brother if it were still socially acceptable to do that sort of thing. Sometimes it's hard to stay in touch with people... it will be hard not to stay in touch with him.

Honorable Mention (I could only name six): MM+HL who are expecting a child in September, SB who will be going to Canada soon, and last but not least... one certain predominantly female lab I don't have any business conversing with but I do anyway (Boys: MG, PC, TK, SS... Girls: CB, CO, LC, NC, SF)... here's to more wonderful times ahead and more great pictures for me to put on my dresser drawer.

LeeZy

A good type of pain

2007-03-06T08:10:00.000-08:00

Ow...

My calves are still kind of sore... it's amazing what kind of muscles you use for certain types of activities. I mean snowboarders use their calves, their thighs, the muscle underneath the shin, abdominals, your "glutes", shoulders (if you fall over often), and others that I don't remember right now. Actually the only muscle I remember using is the one that currently I feel, and those are my calves. No flabby calves today for LeeZy.

One sees many a strange thing out on the slopes. This was actually my first time out this year and I forgot all the funny things I see. And I'm not even talking about the people that fall over and do face plants in the snow... Oh no... Even funnier and less painful. For instance the bra tree. Notice the countless Mardi Gras beads as well. Also take note (or maybe you can't), it's a training bra...

Some people are not affected by the temperature at the ski resorts. If it's moderately sunny and pleasant out, people will shred the layers and ski or snowboard in next to nothing. Of course they won't allow you to ski naked... that would be crazy...

But then again, people ski in almost anything. There were lots of funky hats, very loud colors, and guys in bear suits. I kid you not... Photographic evidence to the right... The suit covered his ski boots. I'm surprised he didn't have a bear head helmet on. Oh, I guess not, now that would be dangerous and stupid, right? Eh... I think a guy in a panda suit would've been funnier.

But all in all, it was a great weekend. A much need break and recharge that would benefit anyone. But it really helped me out. I am so glad I went.

Tomorrow I have a special post but until then, I'd like to introduce you to some nice links.

I've always thought of these, especially the part about the "um" test... but this was written far more eloquently than I could've. 5 things you should never hear during a presentation.

Imagine seeing this outside church one day...

Are you stoopid? It's quite possible...

I didn't think there would be any other scene in Borat worse than the naked wrestling. Oh this comes close... Deleted scene from the DVD... Not Safe For Work... unless you don't mind the black bar censorship of Borat's wee-wee.

Another [kiss].

I work at a company that studies alcoholism... so it's natural I would show this... Just pretend you're watching the Office. Or if you were there... me at a company retreat back in 2004.

Hey look, a drunk squirrel...

So I haven't flown in a plane for a while... but yeah... uh... WHAT!!!!?!!!?!?!!!! (warning, this is pretty gross, and you may never want to sleep on a plane again or sleep next to an empty seat)

I'm so glad I went to Junior High and High School in the late 80s / early 90s... because there's no way I could handle attending now with this going on...

Oh for cryin' out loud... The Caveman show isn't a comedy?

Yum-O...

Wonder what an FCC complaint looks like? Wonder no more...

That's it for today... Look for me tomorrow as I reflect on a milestone.

LeeZy

Friday Linky Links

2007-03-02T11:02:00.000-08:00

Hello... I'm putting away the soap box today... just your garden variety funny links.

An update... The dude who doesn't like Blacks.... fired!

[kiss]

I did this with more than 5 minutes left... how fast can you?

It's good to see that Americans are getting just as good as Italians in playing sports...

Geico... so easy even a caveman can do it... and so ABC will...

Some people have to get shot glasses when they travel to another country. Some people like to get wine. Some people like to take pictures to remember the country they are visiting. Angelina Jolie? She also likes to take something back when visiting another country...

I got 2 star wars links for you today... one was a stabbing... one involved Wallace and Gromit... yeah two in one day... amazing!...

For those of you who don't know... I love Dance Dance Revolution... but if you don't know how to play it well, follow this boy...

I love Keith Olbermann... he was great on ESPN's SportsCenter and his humor is dry and biting. But he is also extremely intelligent and has had many commentaries as of late, trashing the Bush Administration... here is his latest one about some guy on CNN who interviewed this woman and wanted to see her naked... yeah... I'm not kidding... go ahead and click...

That's it for now... I'm going snowboarding! Hooray!

LeeZy

Ignorance

2007-02-27T08:53:00.000-08:00

Today, I want to write about this little "hum-dinger" of an article. The folks at sfgate wrote about various reactions to the story. There's a lot of response and outrage to this guy's article. He's written a lot of inflammatory crap like "Proof that Whites Inherently Hate Us" and "Why I Hate Asians" for AsianWeek. Pulitzer type stuff here? I think not! I have never read AsianWeek and if the editors decided to print this for more readership, don't hold your breath.

It makes me sad. It makes me sad that some Asians in my generation are still holding true to the virtues and mentality of the parents and grandparents. The mentality that I speak of is the general disdain for anyone not the same as they are. I don't speak for everyone, but of the older Chinese generation that I've met, it is usually the same issue.

They embrace the familiar and never seek out the unknown. Go to a buffet in Vegas or Reno. You see a plethora of food from all over the world... Mexican, Italian, Soul Food,... etc... the possibilities are endless. Now go abroad and follow where a Chinese tour group explores... to eat. Chinese food from Italy, Chinese food from India... do you sense a running theme? So when Chinese people go to Vegas or Reno and stop at a buffet to eat, they can try and explore other foods because the buffet price is all inclusive. They will no doubt embrace the noodle dishes and the rice dishes and the beef with broccoli dishes. But this is the one time when they can try a tamale or try bread pudding or try Prime Rib and if they don't like it, they didn't waste money. The smiling faces of the older Chinese men at buffets, make me laugh. Why? Because these people were exposed to something new without any considerable risk. And look at them... all happy. Ahhh... if the world could be one buffet.

So where am I going with this? The young man who wrote that article about why he hated Blacks... it is just so damn irresponsible, for him and the editors at AsianWeek. He obviously has had many bad experiences in life and is very frustrated. So it seems he wants to lash out and vent. (Write a blog then). But all his reasons make no sense to me.

Take the first argument:

"Blacks hate us. Every Asian who has ever come across them knows that they take almost every opportunity to hurl racist remarks at us.

In my experience, I would say about 90 percent of blacks I have met, regardless of age or environment, poke fun at the very sight of an Asian. Furthermore, their activity in the media proves their hatred: Rush Hour, Exit Wounds, Hot 97, etc."

Like I said, he's obviously had some bad experiences in his past. But to cite Rush Hour, Exit Wounds, Hot 97 as your sources of media? Don't forget Romeo Must Die! Come on! Has he ever heard of movies like the Joy Luck Club? Saving Face? or has he heard of a new movie called the Painted Veil? Activity in the media? He probably chose the very worse examples imaginable. And I don't know if he also watches TV, but Asian faces are all over. Positive strides have been made for all Asians in TV, so much that even the fact that they're Asian isn't a story line anymore. Examples? Grey's Anatomy, Lost, Heroes, Gilmore Girls, The Office. Even your tired reality shows have been extremely diverse. Survivor was in the news for having a very diverse cast.

I am not going to even respond to the absurd remarks about "weak-willed" and "easy to coerce". It takes a truly warped sense of reality to make those comments.

His last argument:

"Blacks don't get it. I know it's a blunt and crass comment, but it's true. When I was in high school, I recall a class debate in which one half of the class was chosen to defend black slavery and the other half was chosen to defend liberation.

Disturbingly, blacks on the prior side viciously defended slavery as well as Christianity. They say if you don't study history, you're condemned to repeat it.

In high school, I only remember one black student ever attending any of my honors and AP courses. And that student was caught cheating."

I just don't get it. His reasoning... I just don't get it. He says Blacks don't get it. He talks about a class debate about slavery and liberation. Talks about how some were given the task of defending slavery as well as Christianity. Talks about repeating history.

Uh... was there a point you were getting to? What don't Blacks get? Is there something about slavery and Christianity that was supposed to be ironic or something?

Then he talks about his honors and AP courses. Talks about the one black student he saw in those classes and that student was caught cheating.... yeah he was caught cheating... it wouldn't... by chance... be you that was caught... right? Hmmmm?

Anyway, I don't understand his argument... it's flawed and obviously incoherent and I've realized I've given this guy too much of my time dissecting it. This person was obviously picked on and bullied by numerous people, from all walks of life, for a variety of reasons. His attitude more than anything will prevent him from meeting people that he could find interesting. It's a shame that he will forever judge people in general (in this case Blacks) as how that one person or handful of people treated him.... but I... hope you will not judge all Asians... by this one ignorant person.

Life is too short to hold grudges on people. Meet as many people as you can... it's a lonely world out there if you don't.

LeeZy

Monday Fun Links

2007-02-26T11:58:00.000-08:00

The above piece of artwork, is courtesy of Dr. Phil ... Newton, who is better known for his science, than for his ability to work in the Map division at Google. Anyway, this is approximately where we play soccer on Wednesdays when the field isn't under water, which it currently is right now.... but in 2 weeks time... you never know!

How did you sleep last night? (moi is a freefaller)
If you don't get good sleep, perhaps you need to get some new stylish sheets?

Some people love TV more than I do... enough to sue.

I thought only In 'N Out Burger had a secret menu. Man I could sure eat a Double-Double right now. But not hungry enough to eat this. But I guess it's better than what you might find in a twinkie.

Bacon is great. You can have it for breakfast with a side of scrambled eggs and home fries. You can have it on a BLT for lunch. You can even put it in a chef salad with thousand island dressing. It is truly one of the comfort foods we all love to eat (if you are not vegetarian or have religious restrictions). But I would never wash my hands or bathe in soap made from it. That would be gross.

Ah... soap from fat... that reminds me of one of the best movies of our time, Fight Club. What? You haven't watched it? Well here's a five second (more or less) recap of the movie. It contains one frame of questionable material, but you'll never see it. The guy who made the "5 second recaps", is awesome.

Jeff Garcia doesn't get any respect.

Until later...!

LeeZy

Oscar Night 2007

2007-02-25T15:04:00.000-08:00

First a couple things from SNL last night hosted by Rainn Wilson... The Monologue was the best, if you happen to be a fan of the Office like me :)

SNL - Rainn Wilson's Monologue

SNL - Digital Short - Business Meeting

SNL - White Possum Scream

I've always thought that the most hottest hot sauce in the world was Dave's Gourmet Private reserve that comes in a wooden casket... Nope, I was wrong. Not even close.

So I'm watching the Oscars... not that bad so far... it's actually less full of itself than other years. They always always always kiss their own asses every year and after last year when Crash won the best movie award (over Brokeback Mountain), I lost all respect for this institution. That movie just made me sick about the world, the hate, and the violence. When Brokeback Mountain reminded me that the world was all about love and being happy... or at least looking for all that.

I'm am so glad Alan Arkin won for best supporting actor in Little Miss Sunshine. If you haven't seen it, see with a bunch of your friends or better yet, your family.

West Bank Story won for best live action short film. The guy who accepted for it said it was a musical comedy set in the fast-paced, fast-food world of competing falafel stands in the West Bank. Damn, that alone makes me want to see it now.

Hmmmm... Celine Dion is singing.... guess she got paroled out of Las Vegas.

Pet peeve... people who can't tell the difference between Japanese people and Chinese people. The critically acclaimed Chinese movie (Infernal Affairs) that the Departed was based on... was not a Japanese movie as the dumbass announcer just announced.

I'm beginning to like the interpretive dance / silhouette segments... they're short, but they are visually stunning. I just saw the ones for Happy Feet, Little Miss Sunshine, The Devil Wears Prada, and the Departed. The Dance troupe is called Pilobolus. Some of their work here and here's the footage from the Oscars.

So let me get this straight, Dreamgirls had 3 songs nominated for best original song, and it still lost? And who would think that the movie that would win for best song is an Inconvenient Truth? Good thing I don't bet on sports and Oscar awards...

This was the best song sung at the Oscars.

Though I would've loved for Little Miss Sunshine to win best picture, I'm happy the Departed won. Below are some Red Carpet Photos... that I personally think were the best of the night. I'm not an expert, but I know what I like.

Kate Winslet
Helen Mirren

Gwyneth Paltrow

Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla FisherPortia De RossiAnne Hathaway

Rachel Weisz

LeeZy

What people think or what I think... does it matter?

2007-02-24T18:02:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Pull up a chair!

Would you like a drink? How about an ice cold root beer?

[and don't forget to use a coaster]

Welcome to my first post in the world of blogging. Well actually this won't be your usual blog. Unless you like reading someone's thoughts in colloquial jargon composed of poor sentence structure. What? That's what a blog is? OK then... this is my blog!

Can you believe how many people have blogs? And it's not like people have things that are uber-important or insightful to state (myself included) but the sheer quantity of blogs leaves me thinking about how many people in the world want to be heard.

As of late, I've been wondering what people think... mind you it's for really something stupid. I've been searching for people's thoughts about my favorite TV shows. Like what people are saying about the latest episode of Lost? Some people put a lot of time and effort dissecting every little wrinkle of the show... and you thought I was weird wondering what people think about my TV shows.

I also wonder what some fans of the Office (the US Version of course) are saying about the funny pranks being pulled on the show. I believe I have an eclectic taste in TV shows and that's probably why I end up watching them at home on my computer alone. After I finish a good episode, I don't discuss it with people until the next day at the "water cooler" and I guess I seek out what people are saying.

Yeah I know, I should throw away my TV. It's evil, it's the devil, it will my kill my brain (or if you prefer in German). But I have so little that makes me happy as watching and witnessing what a Human Pavlovian experiment might look like. OK maybe if this trick could be done... that would be funnier.

Another feature of this blog will be my inclusion of videos and links that I find equally as amusing. Like how hard it is for someone to go without their electronic devices for 40 hours...

I love sports. My first love is baseball and the Oakland Athletics. So yes, aside from 1989, I've been disappointed a lot in my team. It might be easier to take if they always didn't make the playoffs and lose in the first round all the time. But that stopped last year as they finally won a playoff series (only to get swept by the Tigers)... oh well... at least I can tell a good pitcher from a bad pitcher. I also like soccer. I've adopted this team from the English Premiership as my own, though I'm also following how this one does as well.

I really hate badly made commercials... especially the ones with bad music. First it was John Mellencamp and his "Our Country" song and now it's the stupid car commercial for President's Day with the awful remixed "Hail to the Chief" theme music. You know what I'm talking about... this guy knows what I'm talking about...

What you don't think it's annoying yet...? Click and listen! If you read the comments, some people actually like it....

[shaking my head]

Now if someone made a commercial based on this "Presidential" clip... that would be genius.

So much to say... so much sarcasm left dish out... but this is only the first post...

More later... Out Loud

LeeZy